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Dear Mama Causey,

Recently, a friend and coworker of mine made a cross country road trip from his native North Carolina to San Diego, where we both live these days. Apparently, his dad foisted a handgun upon him for the trip; you "never know" what to expect when crossing this vast and mysterious land, and this was for his son's protection. Now he wants to return it, but not before taking it down to the shooting range, and me with him.
Mama, I have never fired a gun before. I'm also Canadian. To behonest, I'm kind of intimidated by the thought of wielding one and firing real bullets, even if it is just a target of Saddam Hussein or whatever people shoot at in these clubs. I asked my girlfriend, who is very Causey (although no official status - yet); she seemed interested in firing "a"
gun, but thought it would be too personal firing my male friend's gun.

My friend is not Causey at all, but is otherwise an all-around good guy.

To make matters worse, I had a dream last night. I was playing with guns, and accidentally lost a finger! There was also this miniature white pony following me the whole time; whether or not that symbolized the Presence of Causey, I could not say.
Mama, what should I do this weekend? Come up with an excuse, or put myself in control of a deadly weapon that might haunt me every time I lay me down to sleep?

Yours in Causey, Always,

Bagel Causey

Dear Bagel,

Bagel, Bagel has not being a follower of Causey
taught you anything? Be your own person, stand
up for what you beleive. You are very wise to want
to stay away from guns, stand by that wisdom!

Love and hugs,
Mama Causey