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Dear Mama Causey,

A red shirt emblazoned with the name of my alma mater was inadvertently left in the wash with my white-as-christmas-snow Causey attire. Imagine my shock and dismay when I found my shirts, pants, socks, and underwear (briefs, not boxers) had all turned pink.

I am concerned that, if worn to an ACE service, my tainted clothing will incur Causey's personal wrath upon me and I will be shamed and escorted out of the service. Even worse, I fear that Causey will not recognize me as one of his flock and deny me admittance to future services and that I will not have a place in the Causey Compound with Causey and his family forever and ever.
HELP!!

---Monochromatic in Manhattan

Dear Mono,

Oh my, I can empathize with you in this distressful time. I have had the same thing happen to me, and there were times when, I too feared Causey's wrath, but found the fears were groundless.

I have spoken with Causey on your behalf, he has assured me that if he spots a "pink person" at a service he will indeed embrace you in your difficult time.

A little understanding and clorox work wonders.

Love and Hugs,
Mama Causey

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